thoughts on nesting

we have started working on the boy’s room! the tiny human will be inhabiting our craft room which is directly across the hallway from our bedroom. the original color of the room is kinda sorta like this….

which is actually a pretty cool color but we want something a little less electric for the nursery.  we were inspired by these nurseries.................

.............and decided to paint the room a warm brownish/grayish color with pops of color in the accessories. we figure grey will allow him to make an easy transition from baby into boy and neither of us could stomach the baby-pastel colors. *shiver*  it just aint our style.

as the descendant of carnies, i have an unshakable desire to turn the inside of my house into a circus tent. you can only imagine the strength of this desire when faced with the task of decorating a kid's room. *breathing into a paper bag* if i had it my way (which i rarely do) we would go all out and have a room like this:

but as you can imagine, NM heard the words "ferris wheel" and refused to even listen to reason.

as far as baby items…. we haven’t purchased anything yet other than a car seat. a lot of adoption literature recommends that adoptive families resist the urge to shop, or paint, or set up a nursery, etc until the baby is actually in their care. I guess the idea is that its good to keep the “what if she changes her mind” perspective. personally, I have come to the decision that this advice is total bulllshit. well, maybe that's too judgey. ill just say its bullshit... for us.

dont get me wrong, I understand that some couples are afraid that the deal will fall through and they will be forced to face an empty crib the next day. but how is this any different than a regular pregnancy? its not like we advise pregnant couples to hold off on nesting until after the baby arrives "just in case you miscarry". that would be silly. plus, I don’t think I will be any LESS depressed simply because I haven’t purchased anything yet… “whew, thank GOD I didn’t buy that baby swing! losing the baby would have REALLY been hard then!” *rolling my eyes*

also, i feel like our choice to adopt makes the nesting process even more important. when you are 8 months preggers, you have a daily reminder that this tiny human will soon be joining your family. we dont have that reminder and although we certainly never forget about him... its just hard to make it feel real when there are no physical reminders.

so…I think that NM and I have found a happy medium when it comes to “nesting” and have decided to paint the room (cause who wants to paint when there is a tiny human in the other room?) and get some of the bare essentials. and clearly by “bare essentials” im referring to this onesie

the boy's first paparazzi shot!

everything is still moving along as planned. the boy passed the 36 week mark on sunday and will technically be considered "full term" on august 8th. eeek! the last ultrasound was 2 weeks ago and he weighed 5 lbs 2 oz. (the photo above was from an earlier ultrasound taken in april)

the due date is still august 28th though and since most first-time pregnancies tend to go late... im thinking we have some time. he might even be a september baby.

 NM and i leave for our babymoon on saturday. a whole week in the florida sun... i cant wait! we have our fingers crossed that the little dude wont decide to come early and force us to fly home mid-trip. if he does, im sure it will be an omen of things to come in his teenage years.
 
our caseworkers said that the birthmother is doing much better emotionally and physically. as it turns out, she has very little support from anyone other than her mom and had been feeling pretty overwhelmed with the whole process. they said she still attends all of her meetings and medical appointments alone but is in better spirits. (*sigh* i can barely attend my annual pap exam alone so im pretty impressed with her strength!) it’s a strange feeling to care so deeply about someone we have never met. in many ways, she is a part of our family and its been difficult to not be able to offer her our direct support. closed adoption is tough in that way.
 
although, knowing me… its probably a good thing that we aren’t in contact. I could SO easily end up adopting a birthmother right along with the baby…. “babe, she just needs a place to stay for 2 weeks.” lol. NM would surely divorce me.

she has decided that she doesnt want one of the hospital bracelets (the ones that give access to the nursery) so NM and i will each have one. we are fortunate that the hospital in our area is very adoption friendly so we will most likely get our own room and will spend the night with the boy.

we are still in seemingly constant dialog about names and circumcision (we welcome any suggestions on either topic!) and continue to watch the clock tick down with anticipation. we arent quite at the TTWW stage yet (which officially starts on august 14th!)... but getting close!