Thursday, July 23, 2009
regardless...check this out!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
unhappy 16 year old worker: *dry tone and in one breath* "welcometomcdonaldscanitakeyourorder?"
ME: "yes, hello. i see on your menu that you have something called a "big and tasty"...could you tell me what that is?"
unhappy worker: (long pause) "its big....... and its tasty." (long pause)
ME: "um.....ok.......but does it come with like tomato and cheese and lettuce?"
unhappy worker: (long pause) "............. i have no idea."
i was reminded again today of how much i love east coast customer service. i am currently stuck at JFK airport because my connecting flight to boston was suddenly canceled. upon seeing the big yellow "cancelled" next to my flight, i turned to get in line at the gate to ask the clerk what my options were. i arrived at the desk in time to hear the following:
confused customer: "i just dont understand what my options are"
irritated underpaid clerk: *raising his hand in the air* "sir, you are not my problem. you have to go to the information desk to get your answers."
*looking around* did he really just say, "you are not my problem"?? oh snap!!
in an attempt to avoid the hand-in-your-face service from the gate clerk i decided to follow the customer to the info desk. there was a line of about 784 people and two...count them...TWO clerks working the desk...although teeechnically only one of them was actually serving customers (the other one was probably writing a blog post about how much she hates her job). anywho...when it was finally my turn i walked up to the counter and had the following pleasant interaction:
slowest and least accommodating or pleasant clerk in the world (SLAOPCITW): "NEXT"
ME: "hi. hows it going?"
SLAOPCITW: *no response or eye contact*
ME: "ok, um....i was on the flight to boston that just got canceled and im just wondering...."
SLAOPCITW: "boarding pass."
SLAOPCITW: *speaking slowly as though i am deaf* "Do..... you..... have..... your.... boarding... pass?"
ME: "oh, yeah. sorry. here it is."
SLAOPCITW: *tapping hard on her computer keys*
ME: *trying to make conversation* "man, what a pain in the butt, huh?"
SLAOPCITW: *no response or eye contact*
SLAOPCITW: *hands me a white sheet of paper and looks past me* "NEXT"
ME: "wait... what is this paper? whats happening with my flight? im confused."
SLAOPCITW: *looking at me like im the dumbest person she has ever avoided eye contact with* "THAT is your new boarding pass. your flight leaves in 2 hours. NEXT"
i think i have been living in the mountains too long. my east coast charm (and accent) is starting to fade away. im also feeling less appreciative of the sassy east coast customer service. this makes me kinda sad so perhaps i will go search the terminal for an old lady to knock over or something.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
2. comments like, "dont worry, it will happen one day!" and "at least you have more than one uterus" are irritating.
3. there are some pretty cool people out there in the blogging community.
4. there are some real nut jobs our there in the blogging community.
5. most people wont know how to treat you once you start having "fertility issues". i cant count the number of times that i have had the following conversation:
Friend A: "so, hows everything going?"
Me: "good, thanks. im working a lot which is good but also exhausting and NM is knee deep in the summer program so she is super busy too. we have been trying to do some yard work and spend as much free time doing crafts as possible."
Friend A: "ok. so how is everything going?...like with everything."
Me: "um....good. not much else is going on....oh, NM's family came to visit last week which was fun. the little nephew is growing so fast!"
Friend A: "ok. but what about everything else...*glancing down towards my stomach*... like, how is everything going with, you know...the whole....like baby thing".
the whole like baby thing?? why do people suddenly talk like this?
6. contrary to popular myth...being from jersey doesn't make you more likely to get knocked up.
7. not all gay women need an HSG before TTC. just because we lack a readily available fully functioning penis does not make us all "infertile".
8. "how to not be awkward when your patients are a bunch of queers" is clearly not taught in medical school. therefore, we queers should prepare ourselves for doctors who say, "oh, how nice that you brought your little buddy with you for the appointment". look lady, i'm gay...not a cast member from Gilligan's island! (true story)
9. most of us walk around not knowing jack 'ish about how our bodies work. our fallopian tubes are the width of a human hair....WTF?? then why do they draw them as thick as bubble tea straws in the middle school health textbooks?!
stupid patriarchal medical establishment. its pretty sad when i know more about erectile dysfunction than i do about my own damn ovaries.
10. while i cant say that the infertility roller coaster has been fun, i have learned that i wouldn't go back and change a thing. NM and i have had some of the most amazing conversations through this process and i believe that it will make us better parents than anyone else on the planet. well, maybe not better than sara palin...but close.
11. receiving comments from total strangers from the blogging world never stops shocking me. you mean to tell me that someone other than the people who i make read this thing actually read this thing??
ok...your turn. what have you learned during your TTC journey??
the blog actually does remind me quite a bit of my grandmother. not only because her name is margaret but also because she is in her 90's and is sassier than a teenager! she curses like a sailor and has a biting wit that leaves me in tears. for example...we were out to lunch to celebrate mother's day and the waiter came to the table and said, "happy mother's day, ladies". my grandmother turned to him and replied, "happy mothers day to you, you MOTHER!". he failed to see the humor.
the other day i was talking to her on the phone and she asked me for a phone number. apparently i was taking too long because i suddenly hear, "whats taking you so long?.....as slow as you are, are you sure you teach college?". lmao. i love it!
anywho...if you haven't read their blog, check it out. some of my favorite posts include THIS one and THIS one and THIS one.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
its also no secret that i am not a minimizer. i take a small thing and blow it totally out of proportion until before i know it, im practically planning my own funeral over a paper cut.
for example...right now i am sitting here typing this and cant take my mind off of my throbbing thumb. earlier this evening i cut jalapenos for homemade salsa and the oil from the pepper is still burning! (i wonder if anyone has ever lost a finger from pepper-burn?) while most people would have the ability to put the throbbing out of their mind (i bet im developing a blister... maybe if i suck on my thumb it will feel better... ow, that makes my tongue burn) i just cant stop thinking about it and (hm, its still burning...i wonder if there was some crazy pesticide in the pepper that is now giving me this intense reaction...i remember that movie the incredible shrinking woman where lilly-tomlin-the lesbian- shrinks away to nothing as a result of the combinations of chemicals in her system...what if that happens to me?) and all of the possible negative consequences! (what if my finger burns like this for the rest of my life?!). see what i mean? im ridiculous.
our different coping mechanisms typically make me and NM a well balanced pair. she keeps me grounded and i will no-doubt one day save her life by making her go to the hospital against her better judgement. im writing about this today because we have had a recent drama that is not only a perfect example of our differences in coping mechanisms, but also has something to do with TTC.
the other day a news story broke about our hospital. apparently some crack head nurse has been swapping her dirty needles out with clean surgery needles. so far 9 people have contracted hepatitis C from her dirty needles. she has since been fired but i shared the story the other day with NM and we had the following interaction:
NJ: holy shit...some crazy ass nurse has been swapping needles with clean surgery needles at our hospital! like 78 people have hepatitis C now!!!!!
NM: *flat affect* wow, that's scary. hey, what should we grill tonight?
NJ: did you hear me?? that's the same hospital that i had my fallopian tube thingy done.
NM: and by "fallopian tube thingy" do you mean your laparoscopy?
NJ: thats not the point!! what if that crack head gave me hepatitis C!!
NM: (feeling the need to balance my overboard-ness) you dont have hepatitis C. im sure it was during a different time or in a different wing than where you had your surgery.
NJ: (feeling the need to balance her minimizing) i think she looks familiar!! she was my nurse!! she totally gave me hep!! i dont think they let people with hep adopt babies! and people die like immediately when they get it!!
NM: listen pamela anderson...you dont have hep. plus, nobody dies from hepatitis anymore. calm down.
so... imagine my horror when i came home from work today to find out that i received this in the mail:
that's right... a certified letter from the hospital stating that "our records indicate that you had surgery at our hospital between october 21st and april 13th. if this is correct, we believe, as does the state health department, that you should take a free, confidential blood test. This test will help determine if you were exposed to hepatitis C as a result of your surgery".
naturally i called NM immediately to share the news (and to point out the fact that she shouldn't have minimized!!)NJ: so...i just got a certified letter in the mail saying that i might have been exposed to hepatitis C from that crack head nurse.
NJ: i hate to say i told you so, but.....cough-toldyouso-cough.
NM: babe! that's scary!
NJ: its kinda tight...i mean, if i have hep we can totally sue the hospital and use the money to finance IVF or adoption!!!
NM: but then you would have hepatitis C!!
NJ: well according to you, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, "people don't die from hepatitis!".
so now i gotta go to the stupid lab tomorrow to get a blood test. wouldn't it just totally put the icing on the cake if we have spent all of this time and money and energy...and we have been driving hours and hours to use medical facilities in a distant city... just so that i would end up with pinche hepatitis C??? i don't even swim in public pools for god's sake!! mother father!!
i think the "cautious" part of my cautiously optimistic view is that i really hope they dont screw it up. given all of the negative things that are said about GLBT families, it would be great if the film doesnt perpetuate the biology=destiny fallacy. even the talk about michael jackson's kids lately has been interesting in that so many people question if "those are really his kids?". those of us in TTC bloglandia know that biology has very little to do with whether a child is "really" yours or not. anywho... i got my *fingers crossed* that the film will do a good job of showing how totally normal we are in our abnormality.