will the real homophobe please stand up

there is one... count them one... insemination doctor in our town. his name is dr bachus and apparently he is a homophobe. we have never met him but "word on the street" is that he is totally pro-christian-crazy-evangelical-being-gay-is-a-sin. ok, that might be a bit of an exaggeration but how are we to know where to draw the line??

we have been commuting to denver for the last year in an attempt to get prego. most months this can mean a 2 hour commute (there and back) between 2 and 4 times a month! we have tried to remain pretty upbeat about the fact that we commute to denver because we feel like it is worth it to make sure we arent being discriminated against. after 7 tries, im super glad that im not sitting here wondering if our doctor is intentionally messing up the insem in the hopes that it wont work. (isnt there something in the medical oath thing that would prevent this?? *shrug*) anywhoo... we have been somewhat happily commuting to denver because we want good medical care.

however, after our most recent doctor's appointment we have come to the realization that we might need to alter the plan. our doctor is basically giving up hope that my barren womb will ever allow a baby to grow. conveniently, the solutions she offered (IVF) costs over $10k. not exactly the kind of cash that we have laying around. so... we are back to the drawing board looking for new options..... one of which is homophobe bachus.

i sent an email to their website that basically said, "look, i know its illegal to say that you discriminate but be real with me... are you a homophobe or what??". i was much more professional in my actual message. i figured that a response would take a week or so but alas! someone responded right away! her name is clair or claudie or cleo.... i cant remember... and she basically said "whoever told you that is a dirty liar!". she was much more professional in her actual response. she said that they serve many gay couples and work very hard to create a welcoming environment for all clients.

i responded and said, "well if he isnt a homophobe, maybe he should do something to prove it...like including same sex couples on his website!" boo-ya! that will tell her!

so then she replied and said, "thats a great idea!".

so... now we are thinking of scheduling a consult with him to see what vibe we get in person. are we selling out?????

the nitty gritty

so... 3 doctor-appointments-in-one-week later, there are changes on the horizon. dr trout told us that i basically have one more try with IUI before we move to "the next step". as it turns out, "the next step" aint cheap. she is recommending IVF which as many of you know, costs well over $10k. this is not an option for us.



we left the appointment feeling sad and a little angry. what kind of doctor drops this kind of news the day before an insemination??!!? talk about pressure! then in the next breath she reminds me that stress can affect fertility. um, duh!


we cried for most of the way home and took turns listing off all of the "next steps" that dr trout neglected to mention.
me: "I mean, i could still go to a bar and do it to some random dude!! notice that she didnt mention that!".
nm: "i know! and im sure we could have the stuff delivered to our house and do inseminations the old fashioned way... with a turkey baster!".
me: "honey, i dont think they actually use turkey basters". nm: "you get the point!!!"



among our other options we listed: adoption, nm trying to get prego, buying a baby on the black market, or random unprotected sex with a stranger. since we dont want to wait 10 years, deal with nm dying in labor, get arrested or catch the clap...we quickly dismissed all of the above as silly.