Tuesday, September 29, 2009
not only do i have to deal with friends who unexpectedly get pregnant... "oops, we weren't even trying! *giggle*"
and an ex-boyfriend who suddenly became a parent... "as it turns out, the paternity test says that i have twins"
*rolling my eyes*
but now we have to deal with pregnant women getting pregnant?
come on universe...what's wrong with you?!?!
ALREADY PREGNANT WOMEN GETS PREGNANT
Monday, September 28, 2009
we went to JC Penney this weekend with NM's mom (she was visiting for the weekend to help celebrate NM's birthday) and i was in the dressing room trying on a shirt when suddenly i looked at myself in the mirror. good LORD am i bloated! i pretty much look preggo. i am told that the joy of bloat is a side effect of the fertility drugs but my imagination cant help but think that maybe one of the past insems actually worked and im currently carrying a 6 month old baby in my belly. NM thinks im crazy but hey.... you never know! ive seen way weirder stuff on TLC!
this TTWW feels totally different that any of the previous 7 cycles. typically at this point in the ballgame i have my eye on the prize and cant WAIT for the 2 weeks to pass. every passing minute, hour, day is consumed with counting down.
this time, aka...my last try... feels totally different. its like i dont want the 2 weeks to pass.
i think im just afraid that this moment right now is the closest i will ever come to being pregnant. at the end of the TTWW i might get my period which then means that we will move on to other options for a child.
somehow, being maybe-pregnant is better than never being pregnant at all.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
the insems were no big deal... im pretty much a pro at this point. the new doctor's procedures differed slightly from our old RE but not too much. the biggest difference is the fact that they let me pee before the procedure. *wiping my brow* whew!! our old doctor said that a full bladder made it easier to "find the cervix" which always made me a little suspicious since we are talking about a space that is roughly the size of a grapefruit. how hard is it to find a cervix in there?
while it seems a small difference, it actually makes insems MUCH less annoying. i used to pee before we got in the car to drive to denver (our old RE was an hour away in denver) and then, since i didnt wanna flush $600 down the toilet, i would continue to hold my pee for hours after the insem. it wasnt fun. i have a very low tolerance for that kinda discomfort so having the opportunity to pee before the insem was a dream.
the nurse yesterday was this totally socially awkward lady who is probably really nice but in an insemination environment just seems odd. she put a hospital bracelet on me when we first got there with my name in big black letters. then, when she came into the room to do the insem she made me show her my bracelet and verify my identity. i still cant figure out why. she knows us...and has been our nurse for numerous other appointments. did she think we were gonna sneak some look-alike-jersey-double into the appointment? *shrug* weird.
i didnt have any freak out moments but did almost lose it when she showed us the vial to verify the donor number...
nurse: ok, can you look at this vial and verify that we have the correct number.
NJ: *checking the number on the side of the vial* yup...thats the one.
nurse: *looking at the vial* now, you do understand...that the red cap on this vial means that this is a mixed rate donor, right?
NJ: sorry but i dont know what "mixed rate" means.
nurse: no, *talking slowly* mixed raaaace. you do understand that this donor identifies as mixed race. right?
NJ: *not sure what to say*
NJ: yes. we are aware of the racial identity of our donor.
WTF!?!?!? she might as well have said, "excuse me miss white lady, are you aware that you might be creating offspring with.....A BROWN PERSON?!" because that's what i heard her say. i wanted to say, "yes...we lesbians are planning to create a queer multiracial family. stick that in your bible and pray about it". *deep breath* white people, i swear.
the second insem was pretty much the same but we had a much cooler nurse this time. well... i should say that NM had a much cooler experience since she and the nurse became BFF's while i was up in the stirrups. picture me, in stirrups, trying to keep my head off the dirty ass pillowcase, not able to see anything thats going on, feeling pinches and pokes and twists and i hear this....
nurse: ok, im gonna get the boys in the catheter.
NM: *laughing* oh, we call them "michael phelps" since we hope they are good swimmers
nurse: oh thats great! and speaking of phelps... isnt he amazing?
NM: i know! he was born to swim!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
i spent this past weekend working on my never-ending-thesis and baking two new recipes. the first recipe was one for jam thumbprint cookies. a few weekends ago we decided to can tomatoes and peach jam with some friends and like total amateurs, we bought WAY too many peaches and ended up with over 6 gallons of peach jam (not kidding). so, in search of a new recipe that would allow me to use up some of that jam, i made THESE cookies. they were pretty much the bomb.com.
the other recipe i attempted came from bakerella. i have wanted to make her famous cupcake balls for a while now but never had the courage. until this weekend. in another total lapse of judgement i also decided to try her cupcake pops. needless to say, mine didnt turn out nearly as good as hers.
i think my main problem was the thickness of the chocolate coating which didnt allow for much detail. anywhoo... im sure it takes a few attempts so ill try them again at some point.
this weekend also included a special little package on my doorstep.
three cheers for fertility meds!!
*deep game show voice* that's right folks, we have here 3 doses of follistim, 6 needles and an hsg shot.
but wait... there's more! just when you thought this offer couldnt get more exciting, there was one more thing in the box.....
a $432.00 bill!! *crowd goes wild*
at least we got one of those cool freezer packs out of the deal.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
if only i had a dollar for every time i heard that.