Thursday, September 10, 2009

what part of "im from new jersey" dont you understand?

first order of business is to report that i successfully survived my first CD2 corn-dogging experience.

second order of business is to explain what the hell i mean by "corn-dogging". i have received a couple of emails asking what the heck i am talking about. yet another example that the thoughts in my head dont necessarily translate well to the outside world. allow me to explain...

*clearing my throat*

when infertile sally wants to have a baby she will most likely have to undergo many ultrasounds to check her innards. the method of said ultrasounds is not the typical goop-on-the-belly ultrasound like is seen in most movies when an already pregnant woman goes in for an ultrasound. oh no my friend...sally gets the pleasure of enduring the "internal wand probe" which, much like it sounds, is essentially a giant dildo-thing with an ultrasound camera on the end. so...when sally is in the process of receiving said "internal wand probe" ultrasound it is not uncommon for her to feel like a human corn-dog. there you have it.

third order if business is to share that yet another medical practitioner commented on how "easy" i am. what the hell!?!?! if you remember from THIS post, apparently i am "easy" to perform an insemination on. well this morning we had the following conversation with our ultrasound technician:

ultrasound tech: wow. you're so easy!
corn-dog me: um... excuse me?
ultrasound tech: its so easy to find your ovaries on the screen. i love giving ultrasounds to you because typically women aren't this easy.


if only i had a dollar for every time i heard that.


  1. I knew exactly what you meant by corn dogging! Perhaps because I have been meat on a stick so many times in the past? Corndogging on a ketchup day is no fun is it. It wasn't as bad as I expected but still not a good time. I'm glad you are back in the saddle even if it is a terribly expensive ride and I'm excited to hear about the adoption progress too!

    Oh and by the way, I have you on my roll as Newjexico baby Quest but should it be Woes of a Barren Lesbo???

  2. PS - I love me an easy Jersy Girl! I have one waiting for me at home right now ;)

  3. I totally got the corn-dogging reference. I even giggled at the perfect description. Although I am not sure I will ever be able to see one without thinking about it. In my neck of the woods (as in our little home) the process is usually called "wanding" as in "they wanded my ovaries today". Nowhere near as original or witty, no doubt, but I have always liked the reference to magic and a tad of abracadabra....