there is one... count them one... insemination doctor in our town. his name is dr bachus and apparently he is a homophobe. we have never met him but "word on the street" is that he is totally pro-christian-crazy-evangelical-being-gay-is-a-sin. ok, that might be a bit of an exaggeration but how are we to know where to draw the line??
we have been commuting to denver for the last year in an attempt to get prego. most months this can mean a 2 hour commute (there and back) between 2 and 4 times a month! we have tried to remain pretty upbeat about the fact that we commute to denver because we feel like it is worth it to make sure we arent being discriminated against. after 7 tries, im super glad that im not sitting here wondering if our doctor is intentionally messing up the insem in the hopes that it wont work. (isnt there something in the medical oath thing that would prevent this?? *shrug*) anywhoo... we have been somewhat happily commuting to denver because we want good medical care.
however, after our most recent doctor's appointment we have come to the realization that we might need to alter the plan. our doctor is basically giving up hope that my barren womb will ever allow a baby to grow. conveniently, the solutions she offered (IVF) costs over $10k. not exactly the kind of cash that we have laying around. so... we are back to the drawing board looking for new options..... one of which is homophobe bachus.
i sent an email to their website that basically said, "look, i know its illegal to say that you discriminate but be real with me... are you a homophobe or what??". i was much more professional in my actual message. i figured that a response would take a week or so but alas! someone responded right away! her name is clair or claudie or cleo.... i cant remember... and she basically said "whoever told you that is a dirty liar!". she was much more professional in her actual response. she said that they serve many gay couples and work very hard to create a welcoming environment for all clients.
i responded and said, "well if he isnt a homophobe, maybe he should do something to prove it...like including same sex couples on his website!" boo-ya! that will tell her!
so then she replied and said, "thats a great idea!".
so... now we are thinking of scheduling a consult with him to see what vibe we get in person. are we selling out?????
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You are NOT selling out. First of all, dirty rumors get spread by and about everyone, so definitely don't judge this doc before you meet him/her. But even if they turn out to be kind of a butthead, as long as you trust that they are not doing anything illegal, like pledging to treat your condition and then actually undermining it, if it makes your life easier, then more power to you. As someone who commutes an hour in rush hour traffic each way to her RE, I can understand the appeal to reducing the stress in your TTC life. You don't have to be best friends with this doc, and if he/she secretly harbors some anti-gay bias, then there will be no greater revenge than making him help you get pregnant. Will you be monitored by u/s along the way? Then you can really tell if the doc is doing everything he/she can.
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