Wednesday, July 8, 2009

one more reason to give GWB the big middle finger.

we had our first meeting with the adoption agency today. it went really well. some of the misconceptions that i had going into the meeting included:
1. adoption is a looooong process that most often results in heartache.
2. birth moms almost NEVER select homo parents.
3. the process to adopt is a bureaucratic nightmare that will most likely cause us to get divorced.

after the meeting, my new information includes:

1. adoption is a loooong process that rarely results in heartache.
2. birth moms these days actually select mo's on a regular basis. our agent said that she has placed 5 babies with "same-sex" couples in the last year.
3. the process to adopt is a bureaucratic nightmare that we might actually enjoy!

the agency that we met with is one of 3 or 4 in the state that takes glbt couples. its still such a shock to me that i live in a country where it is 100% legal to say, "sorry, we don't offer our services to gay families". what is this the 1950's??? imagine someone saying, "oh sorry, we don't offer our services to asians or jewish people". grr.

*deep breath*

anyway...i digress. the woman we met with was super cool. she wasn't just "tolerant" of our "lifestyle" but actually expressed anger towards the other agencies that don't work with glbt couples. she said, "that just enrages me!". anti-homophobic passion from a breeder?? tight!

this organization is super small and only handles domestic adoptions. they only take 30 adoptive couples at a time so right now there is a waiting list to become a client. she said that the waiting list takes about 6-8 months before you will become a client. "becoming a client" basically means that your portfolio will be given to birth moms when they are choosing a family for their baby.

so it seems like the process looks like this:

1. join the waiting list
2. in the meantime, work on the portfolio (id love to hear from other bloggers about how they created theirs!!)
3. get other paper work completed (references, medical history forms, etc)
4. get off the waiting list and become a client.
5. complete the home studies
6. get finger printed and get background checks.
7. once we are "paper ready" our portfolio will be added to the available adoptive parents stack for birth moms to take home to review.
8. wait to be selected!

we left the meeting and both agreed that the process felt more exciting than we had anticipated. NM said that she wasn't expecting to feel excited but that the process of adopting seems very in-line with our values. it was really cool to see her excited about the process. *smile*

the other friggin wonderful thing about the adoption process is that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with my body!! i wont have to be poked with needles or turned into a corn-dog once a month with the ultrasound probe!! the agent didn't mention anything about injections or 5 people standing in the room while examining my downstairs or any medications that would make me Crampy McCramp! in fact, it kinda felt weird to not take my clothes off and get into a paper gown for the appointment. lol.

the thing that has been weighing on me since the meeting (because there always has to be something, right??) is that she said that she has already placed 9 times the number of babies this year as compared to last year. at first this sounds like a great thing because there are more babies to go around but when she explained that the economy is the broke my heart. and it made me want to punch george bush in the neck. for all the "family values" crap that he spewed...his decisions and actions have left us in a place where more families cant afford to keep their children.

when NM and i were looking for a house we looked at one foreclosed house and decided that we didn't have the stomach to go through with it. not that there is anything wrong with buying foreclosed houses... i totally support anyone who chooses that option. but for us it was so friggin sad to think that we were able to capitalize on another family's heartache. i felt that way when i thought about the increase of babies due to the crappy economy. its sad to think that in a different economic environment, some of those same parents would have the choice to spend their lives raising their children. *sigh*

anywho... not meaning to be a debby downer so ill close by saying that we are super excited about this new avenue. we are going to follow the agent's recommendation to meet with at least 2 other agencies so that we can compare services. since there aren't too many that will let us in the door (since after all, gayness is contagious...*rolling my eyes*) we only have a couple of options to try. the other two that she recommended do domestic and international adoptions so it will be cool to learn more about that option. yay!


  1. Ah, this gives me hope and it sounds like it's given you hope. *Sighs a big sigh of relief* One way or another, we'll get there.

  2. First, thanks for the laughs. Not being a corndog twice a month pretty much sells me on it!

    Although I am thrilled that everything sounds so great for you I am saddened by the fact that perhaps a lovely family will receive a placement because of someone elses heartbreak. F you very much gwb!

    Thanks for sharing your info. I go to my group meeting tonight and I will probably post on it tomorrow.