Tuesday, July 7, 2009

and i didnt even share a needle with tommy lee!!

its no secret that NM is a "minimizer". not as in the bra, but rather in the "oh, stop worrying...im sure that gushing wound will heal right up! *big smile and a pat on the back*" kinda way. *rolling my eyes*

its also no secret that i am not a minimizer. i take a small thing and blow it totally out of proportion until before i know it, im practically planning my own funeral over a paper cut.

for example...right now i am sitting here typing this and cant take my mind off of my throbbing thumb. earlier this evening i cut jalapenos for homemade salsa and the oil from the pepper is still burning! (i wonder if anyone has ever lost a finger from pepper-burn?) while most people would have the ability to put the throbbing out of their mind (i bet im developing a blister... maybe if i suck on my thumb it will feel better... ow, that makes my tongue burn) i just cant stop thinking about it and (hm, its still burning...i wonder if there was some crazy pesticide in the pepper that is now giving me this intense reaction...i remember that movie the incredible shrinking woman where lilly-tomlin-the lesbian- shrinks away to nothing as a result of the combinations of chemicals in her system...what if that happens to me?) and all of the possible negative consequences! (what if my finger burns like this for the rest of my life?!). see what i mean? im ridiculous.

our different coping mechanisms typically make me and NM a well balanced pair. she keeps me grounded and i will no-doubt one day save her life by making her go to the hospital against her better judgement. im writing about this today because we have had a recent drama that is not only a perfect example of our differences in coping mechanisms, but also has something to do with TTC.

the other day a news story broke about our hospital. apparently some crack head nurse has been swapping her dirty needles out with clean surgery needles. so far 9 people have contracted hepatitis C from her dirty needles. she has since been fired but i shared the story the other day with NM and we had the following interaction:

NJ: holy shit...some crazy ass nurse has been swapping needles with clean surgery needles at our hospital! like 78 people have hepatitis C now!!!!!
NM: *flat affect* wow, that's scary. hey, what should we grill tonight?
NJ: did you hear me?? that's the same hospital that i had my fallopian tube thingy done.
NM: and by "fallopian tube thingy" do you mean your laparoscopy?
NJ: thats not the point!! what if that crack head gave me hepatitis C!!
NM: (feeling the need to balance my overboard-ness) you dont have hepatitis C. im sure it was during a different time or in a different wing than where you had your surgery.
NJ: (feeling the need to balance her minimizing) i think she looks familiar!! she was my nurse!! she totally gave me hep!! i dont think they let people with hep adopt babies! and people die like immediately when they get it!!
NM: listen pamela anderson...you dont have hep. plus, nobody dies from hepatitis anymore. calm down.


so... imagine my horror when i came home from work today to find out that i received this in the mail:

that's right... a certified letter from the hospital stating that "our records indicate that you had surgery at our hospital between october 21st and april 13th. if this is correct, we believe, as does the state health department, that you should take a free, confidential blood test. This test will help determine if you were exposed to hepatitis C as a result of your surgery".

um.... WTF???

naturally i called NM immediately to share the news (and to point out the fact that she shouldn't have minimized!!)

NJ: so...i just got a certified letter in the mail saying that i might have been exposed to hepatitis C from that crack head nurse.
NJ: i hate to say i told you so, but.....cough-toldyouso-cough.
NM: babe! that's scary!
NJ: its kinda tight...i mean, if i have hep we can totally sue the hospital and use the money to finance IVF or adoption!!!
NM: but then you would have hepatitis C!!
NJ: well according to you, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, "people don't die from hepatitis!".

and..... scene.

so now i gotta go to the stupid lab tomorrow to get a blood test. wouldn't it just totally put the icing on the cake if we have spent all of this time and money and energy...and we have been driving hours and hours to use medical facilities in a distant city... just so that i would end up with pinche hepatitis C??? i don't even swim in public pools for god's sake!! mother father!!

1 comment:

  1. i am not eating your food anymore until this gets cleared up... except for rice crispie treats.