ive been pretty lucky in the ex department. perhaps its my cancer tendencies but im one of those nostalgic freaks who still keeps in touch with most of my ex lady/man-friends. there is only one ex i can think of who has caused me legitimate harm and that was mostly due to age and immaturity. the rest have been a collection of mostly well intentioned human beings who, like me, were just trying to make it.
so, rather than single out one person, ill generate an anonymous collective list of things that i would want to say to my ex's... some positive and some negative. ill let them try to figure out which statements are directed at them and which statements are reserved exclusively for the immature doucher referenced above.
*clearing my throat*
an open list of things i would want to say to my ex's....
* i stole your sweatshirt.
* thank you for sharing so much of yourself with me.
* i was never very fond of your family.
* i wish you would have spent more time focused on growing yourself.
* im sorry for the times i treated you poorly.
* you were a lousy gift-giver.
* you helped me heal some of the most wounded parts of myself.
* i dont really care about women's basketball.
* im sorry i cheated.
* you pretty much sucked at kissing but you always smelled great.
* you taught me how to trust.
* you taught me to trust nobody.
* you were fantastic in bed.
* i faked it. every time.
* you changed the course of my life.
* i didnt believe you when you said you didnt steal from the mall.
* thank you for never being violent.
* you have an addiction and should seek help.
* your father had an affair with our friend's mother. he asked me to promise that i would never tell you.
* you made me feel young and free.
* you made me feel cheap and worthless.
* you were everything i always thought i wanted, until i had it.
* i knew you were a gay man but i stayed in the relationship because you were the first man to never pressure me for sex.
* i dont like porn.
* my family never liked you.
* i did the best i could at the time.
* rent isnt free.
* what happened to you wasnt your fault.
* you're one of the best human beings i have ever known.
* being a survivor of sexual violence doesnt make you less of a man.
* you should have defended me.
* i miss having you in my life.
* i truly wish you happiness.