as you might remember from THIS post, i had surgery not too long ago and was exposed to hepatitis C from a crack head nurse who was swapping her dirty, saline-filled syringes with clean medication-filled ones. not only was this causing surgery patients great pain since they were essentially left with no pain medication, but she was also exposing people to hepatitis C.
the hospital sent me a certified letter saying that i had to go get tested. as i wait for my results, i have come up with a plan to sue the hospital for millions of dollars and use that money to finance IVF. muah-ha-ha (evil laugh). the only major flaw in this plan of course is the fact that i will have to test positive for a disease that will slowly kill me. damn it!
another minor flaw in this plan is that even if i did win settlement money i will most likely have to use it on the anesthesia bill from the surgery! WTF?? allow me to explain....
i got a bill for $990 in the mail from some doctor that i didnt recognize. we will call him Dr. Stranger. i called the number listed on the bill and had the following conversation with brittney, the unhappy worker at dr. stranger's office.
NJ: hi, i received a bill from this office but i am not a patient of dr. stranger.
brittney: did you recently have surgery?
brittney: he was your anesthesiologist
brittney: *starting to get irritated* dr. stranger is an anesthesiologist. if you recently had surgery then the bill you received is for his services.
NJ: but my surgery was covered by my insurance.
brittney: do you have blue cross?
brittney: dr. stranger isnt covered by blue cross so you have to pay.
NJ: ok, ill call my insurance and see.
brittney: fine. but im telling you that he isnt covered. and you have to pay.
as it turns out, brittney was right. i called blue cross and had the following conversation with sean, the unhappy worker at blue cross.
NJ: hi, i recently had surgery that was pre-approved by insurance but i just got a bill from someone who claims that they were my anesthesiologist and they arent covered by blue cross.
sean: could you repeat your member number?
NJ: *repeating my member number*...im just concerned because this is a pretty expensive bill.
sean: could you repeat your zip code?
NJ: *repeating my zip code*... and my doctor told me that the surgery was covered so....
sean: could you repeat your home address?
NJ: *resisting the urge to say, "what is the point of having automated answering service where we have to type all of this information into the system if you're just gonna ask me to repeat it all again!?!?!?!!?"*
NJ: *repeating my home address*
sean: ok, yup...it looks like he isnt covered.
sean: so you have to pay the bill.
NJ: but my doctor said the surgery was pre-approved!
sean: that doesnt necessarily include anesthesia.
NJ: excuse me? are you saying that i could have opted for surgery without anaesthesia?
sean: no but as the patient it is your responsibility to make sure that everyone involved with the surgery is covered by blue cross.
NJ: how the hell am i supposed to know who is involved in the surgery?! for all i know there is some random scrub nurse (or as time would tell, a crack head nurse) who isnt covered!
sean: ma'am, obviously every surgery involves an anesthesiologist.
NJ: obviously the insurance industry sucks! (i didnt really say that... but i wanted to really badly)
so... here i sit trying to figure out how to pay almost $1000 for a surgery that might have given me hepatitis C.
*shaking my head*
i aint a religious person but i believe there is a special place in hell reserved for crack head nurses and insurance agents.